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What’s the method to lose weight for free? Is it a mystery beyond the pyramids, UFO’s, ghostly apparitions, or the missing sock? But it’s no mystery when people see themselves in the mirror. They’re too heavy. But it’s pretty plain. Here are some ideas.

Catch a virus. No really, get sick. Serious illness is a great way to lose weight, provided there’s a recovery. People lose weight while in the hospice. That’s as ludicrous as it seems. So let’s get to some real weight loss tips.

Losing weight is a snap if you severely restrict calories. That means eating fewer calories than you burn. Drink nothing but water to influence your body to draw on fat reserves. If you have the patience to do this for weeks or months at a time, even better. Seriously, though, consuming less than you use is the way to go. It can’t be just water, but replacing soda and juice with water will save you 90,000 calories, or 25 pounds, each year. Smaller portions, a lesser amount of soda and juice period.

Exercise as if the slave master will punish you if you stop moving. Keep up physical activity for hours and hours a day, seven days a week. Remember those Moses movies? Did you ever see a fat slave working on those pyramids? We don’t build pyramids any more but we can exercise, in moderation. It doesn’t have to be hours and hours each day, but 30 minutes of aerobic exercise seven days a week is great. If you can’t make seven days a week then six is better than five and five is better than four and even one is better than none.

Bodybuilders burn more calories just standing around. So strap yourself to the car and pull it for 10 miles a day, with a fat person riding in it. Become a hulk, a mass of muscles so large that you have to binge eat just to keep up with the wild metabolism. Of course, in the real world weight training doesn’t have to be to the level of a marine drill instructor. 3-5 days a week of weight work to create lean muscle will help keep off the pounds. In the long run muscles burn more calories than fat, even without moving.

You don’t need Amazing diet shakes or fad diets to lose weight. Your budget can even be 0. Lose weight for free through exercise and healthy eating. Eat less than you burn and weight loss will follow.

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